61 Comments

I'm getting a little confused here. I wonder: Is this selection, TBH, a little lame on Roy's part or does it accurately reflect that the fringes here are getting yet more unhinged? I mean, normally it's sick shit but these here are a magnitude or three worse than the, uh, norm.

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Nope. This'here is bog standard millrun stuff. And what you got against Norm?

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“…. the thing that many liberals are pondering is what they can now to keep Americans afraid once again….”

Speaking of escaped monkeys, are we sure they haven’t been herded up, given laptops, and are now creating content for these newsletters?

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What do you have against monkeys? I would put Team Monkey up against Team Politico or Team Axios any day.

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And here I thought being anti-monkey was the last acceptable prejudice. Your woke, cancel culture, Critical Monkey Theory is repressing my free speech, Lib!

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I'm not saying you're not wrong not exactly but we can't not eliminate the impossibility...

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A thousand monkeys given a thousand years couldn't type anything as stupid as this stuff. They'd hit on the complete works of Shakespeare before they got to that.

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If that's so, then we're smarter than I thought, as we're getting right-wing nuts to spread the fear for us.

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I can't decide, is

"who are you, why do you keep me locked up in here,” funnier than " I would have cleared the classroom and called in a check for a gas leak" ?

Both are hilarious.I wish I'd have known there was a contest - I could have measured how far out of my nose I shot the coffee when I read them.

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Gas leak.

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Years from now, after the Republicans have retaken the House and we're all in an internment camp, you'll just have to say "Gas leak!" and we'll all bust out laughing.

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Good times.

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"Number 27!"

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We're not talking about a Jonah Goldberg column here

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"Giftgas!" (How the Nazis labeled their Zyklon-B canisters)

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Coffee usually leaves stains, try getting a picture of the various distances. Let the peep-hole decide

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Both gems, obviously, but my money is on "..maybe Daily Headlines has a union and it’s serious about preserving the dignity of its workers"

Globe-spanning solar shield-level shade right there...

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"That desire to be free is what triggered our founding fathers"

Yes we have reached the gutterwash of historical reclamation: a big fat George IV squatting on top of a lean-as-a-rake Yankee Doodle & sneering "Triggered, colonist?"

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Ben Garrison for the William Hogarth set?

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The byline "Danielle Marie" made me wonder what ever became of Marie Jon', the oddly apostrophied religio-loon from the good old days when Sadly No and World O' Crap and alicublog were in the trenches. There were a bunch of whack jobs back then who seem to have disappeared from the Internet. Some have passed, a couple of gun nuts employed their passion in life to end it, and in Marie Jon''s case, I have to assume she was Raptured or something. Aside from being a religious nutjob, she was the only person I've ever known who wanted Michele Bachmann to be president.

Ahh nostalgia. Oh well, we still have your "Hardcore" roundup, but it doesn't seem like their hearts are in it as much as the lunatics of our younger days. Compared to the virtuoso verbosity of a Den Beste or Godlstein or even Ace O' Spades* at the height (or depths) of their insanity, these folks are barely above the level of bots.

*Who's still at it at http://ace.mu.nu/. Same old roach-shit fontsize blather by Ace and others who can toss off 8000 words just on "face diapering".

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I imagine the pool of bylines used by this "news agency" looks something like this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/689mjc/apus_do_not_accept_checks_from_list/

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I sometimes think of doing Where Are They Now columns but it's hard enough to keep up my spirits and I suspect half of these nutcakes have jobs with thinktanks or local government

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But some of them might be dead, and that might perk you up!

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These are all serious issues, but what about Joe Biden’s promise to replace America’s favorite Breyer’s, Natural Vanilla, with Chocolate Fudge?

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To the barricades!

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"Sorry, Natural Vanilla's too spicy for us, we're Lutheran."

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The "international incident" was when Biden suggested NATO allies weren't agreed on how they would respond to a "minor incursion" by Russians into Ukraine. It did raise some eyebrows in Ukraine, where folks really don't feel any incursion should be seen as "minor", but Biden explained later that day that any case of "Russian forces crossing the border, killing Ukrainian fighters" would not be minor.

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At least Daniel is not a "professional" theologian, like most of them. Also, Roy, can you point out at the next secret liberal ((cabal)) overlord meeting that spreading lab-concocted disease to induce compliance among real Americans become counter-productive?

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People who have obeyed a thousand rules, procedures and laws by the time they go home at the end of the day supposedly need a government-concocted disaster to make them compliant?

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Like they'd tell me

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"...to spread the illness to citizens..."

I'm gonna guess that "Daniel" missed the entire point of the protracted monkey-search from that Dustin Hoffman/Renee Russo movie "Outbreak": It was so they could use it to create antiserum therapy for the disease's victims, not prevent it from spreading more disease.

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Allow me to share a tiny bit of balm: local newspaper reports this morning that 95% of the county's firefighters and LEOs are fully vaccinated, with several departments at 100%. The lowest one was still 90%. Our health department has been spectacular.

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Cool -- that's good news. Whereas in Jersey, the state's Police Protective Benevolent Association has filed a lawsuit against the state's vax mandate for state corrections officers. As if the prisons weren't already death boxes

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Speaking of animals as disease vectors........COVID-positive Sarah Palin has now dined al fresco on the Upper East Side two nights in a row. After eating at Campagnola Tuesday, she returned to Elio’s last night — where she reportedly flouted the city’s vax mandate this weekend--- Gothamist

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Isn't each of us, in our own way, an amateur theologian?

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Every time I say "Goddammit!"

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(Except I see you saying this in Gothic script.)

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Insular miniscule used between ca. 850-1000, or gtfo

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I did my Theology first for love, then for a few friends, then for money.

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The Slippery Slope as Jacob's Ladder

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Oh, also 'lees' are dead yeast. Like in wine.

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So it's like the dregs? As I've said before, I should be getting college credit for all the larnin' I'm getting here.

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I know! Helps tremendously with crossword puzzles.

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Our two local supermarkets (Ralphs; Vons) have pretty much everything, including non-abysmal meat, but get this: What neither of them has is GALLON JUGS OF WHITE VINEGAR. Yes, exactly--just like in Soviet Russia. That, plus deliberately-released diseased monkeys in Pennsylvania--and you keep saying, over and over again, my friend, that you don't believe we're on the Eve of Destruction?

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No, this is Evah Destruction:

https://rupaulsdragrace.fandom.com/wiki/Evah_Destruction

She was on Dragula season 3.

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I feel like someone needs to make the obligatory joke about "Abysmal Meat" being my next band name, but I just don't have it in me.

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What could be more socialist that a product with which you can both dress salad and mop floors?

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One after the other really -- but be careful with the order you try it...

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DeSantis is a reptile with all the cold blooded instincts that entails and that gives him a primitive guile that may work well in Floriduh but will be hard to translate nationwide.

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Oh, how I wish this was true.

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I got triggered by this post because of that time I was walking to the diner and a monkey pinned me to the ground and wouldn't let me up until I took a copy of "Das Kapital".

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